Tuesday, December 29, 2009

So, Do you keep being Mom after your kid is gone?


About a month ago, Zachary developed cardiomyopathy followed in close proximity by an acute case of congestive heart failure. He seemed fine on Saturday, got sick on Sunday, went to the vet on Monday where he seemed to have a chest cold, so they prescribed Doxycycline. On Thursday, he passed out when I was getting ready to take everyone out to potty. They did a chest x-ray and it showed him being full of fluid, and his heart was HUGE and misshapen. We scheduled him for a visit to a cardiologist, and the vet gave him a big dose of lasix, to try and get some of the fluid off. I stayed home and he deteriorated mentally and physically all day. God love the vet, she was on the phone with me off and on all day. She was voting for taking him to the emergency center for a chest tap, but I honestly can't believe that he would have made it. After losing a cat at another emergency center to the same disease, all I could think of was him dying in that place without anyone there who loved him. I called the rommate and she came home and we had the vet put him down.

This just reeks. I no longer wish to be the responsible adult.

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